Memo To The Universe

Hey, you know what? I get it. I get that even though my basement flooded less than a year after we installed brand new carpet, and spent a few thousand dollars doing everything we could do to prevent leaks in the basement, it’s not that bad that my basement flooded. We’ll have to get new padding put down and get the carpet hammered down again, but we were able to save the carpet. So it’s not that bad.

I get that a dinged up bumper is not that bad. Everyone involved in the car accident that led to its damage walked away unharmed and my car was still functional, if a bit less pretty. I’m happy my son, who was driving, is safe. It’s not that bad.

I get that it’s not that bad that the raise I was promised at work is about a month and a half overdue to hit my paycheck. It *should* be coming this week. Hey, good thing I have a job in the first place, right? An overdue raise is not that bad.

I get that it’s not the worst thing in the world that we’re not going to New Orleans this month as I’ve been hoping for and had started planning a few months ago. So we couldn’t afford it. Well, more time to stay home and work on the house, right? It’s not that bad.

I get it. Someone’s watching over my family and me, keeping us safe, making sure we have food in our tummies, a roof over our heads, and the things we need, if not everything we want. I GET it. And I remind myself every day.


There comes a point, universe, when it’s time to back off. And that point would preferably come BEFORE a girl damn near pokes an actual, live, copperhead SNAKE with a stick to see if it’s actually real,  while in denial that it could actually be real because she’s fairly convinced that someone’s left a fake snake there to scare her and is hiding in the bushes with a video camera because WHY NOT?

No more mother f*ckin snakes on this mother f*ckin driveway!

No more mother f*ckin snakes on this mother f*ckin driveway!

Universe? I think it’s time you moved on. I hear members of Congress have plenty of time on their hands these days.